Everyone wants investment from venture capitalists.
It’s the validation that catapults you onto the cover of Forbes. Your seat at the pantheon of famed tech bros like Adam Neumann, Elizabeth Holmes, and Sam Bankman-Fried.
VCs can be a curious bunch, however. They have a special secret language — a dialect that’s borderline incomprehensible to the uninitiated.
For instance, much like the Inuit people, who have many words for snow, were you aware that venture capitalists have more than 400 words for “no”?
Language betrays purpose. In Orwell’s 1984, Newspeak was created to narrow the range of thought and, ultimately, make dissidence impossible. In the same vein, VCspeak has evolved to serve one key tenet:
“Never say no to a founder, just in case.”